Dear Great and Powerful Pixie Pie,

Ni Hao! That’s how the bigs here say hello. I can’t really tell if it’s a nice hello, or a mad hello, because they pretty much yell everything at you, when they aren’t screaming “shoo” at you. I actually found out recently that “shoo” means rat there, not “go away mommy is irritated” like it does back at the shop. I admit I was confused for a bit there. The first time I heard it I was actually hiding in someone’s shoe, and I popped out because I thought I finally found someone who spoke English, only to be suddenly and quickly beaten by a broom. They missed me, but Darla got flung across the room and landed her bare bottom on a cooking pot. I’m pretty sure it left a scar. Suffice it to say, it hasn’t exactly been a good trip for her.

We had a nice couple who found us in a park offer to feed us and give us some shelter. At least that’s what we thought at first. Turns out the lady of the house had some bad back acne and tried to make Darla into a poultice to clear it up. Apparently, there are several recipes on the Internet. We just thought the lady was making her weird bed in a little bowl until she came at her with the giant pestle. Needless to say, we got away from that one. I took to calling her Pixie Salsa for the rest of the week to cheer her up, but it didn’t seem to work. She just had more trouble as the week went by.

We met with our suppliers here, and they fed us a very delicious meal. I felt a little guilty because it was the duck we rode here on, but boy was it tasty. Don’t tell Darla, she named it on the way over and tried to learn its language, I think she’d be upset. Anyway, the head honcho over here is a really neat lady. She let ride on her shoulder for most of the factory tour. Darla had to sit it out because someone bent her wings trying to use her as a stencil for our new fairy bags.

We’ve seen some really cool things here outside of work. We got taken to a museum about watermelons in Beijing. No joke, it’s a real thing. I was nostalgic, because as you know my family lived in a watermelon before the pleasure of coming to work for you. Not that miss it. My family loves working for you tall lady (please don’t kill me with your magic powers, or make any of my sisters into a pie, you can do what you want with my brothers).

At any rate, I think we’ve accomplished our mission and found some cool new things for Toasted Pixie, and I’m excited to send them your way. Please note, I’m also sending Darla’s dress as it will need some repairs. Also, if you could send Darla some new underwear, as you might imagine they seem to be more important when traveling than when lounging around in our lantern house back at the shop.

Tootles until next time. I’m going to look for transportation to our next destination now. Trying to avoid ducks this go around, so I don’t have to answer and awkward or delicious questions.

Bye for now,

Your Faithful Pixie Servant Tawdd Fairywinkle The Third


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