Dear Great and Powerful Pixie Pie, ruler of all things smaller than six inches,
Good day, eh! We’ve been doing great things here, eh. For some reason, the bigs here use eh as an audible period after every phrase. I don’t understand why this is necessary but Darla seems to like it. She uses “eh” before and after every sentence to make sure the giants can understand us. The giants here are super polite, but maybe too polite? Most of our days are spent waiting on them to decide who will go through a door first. Shop doors, barn doors, washroom doors, and even car doors. They seem to have an issue deciding who will walk through a door first. Darla actually ended up in an argument with a local giant who referred to her as a “hoser” and told her to “move on, eh.” She asked if they were speaking English, which seemed to offend them.
On our first day here we went on a tour of a syrup factory, and Darla fell into one of the vats. If there happens to be a group of people who suddenly start floating around at an IHOP, I am pretty sure it is her fault. Needless to say we decided syrup is not a good addition to the store, although, I will confess I have not been able to stop licking Darla’s arm. I am quite proud of myself because I only bit her once.
We found some fun things, and met the suppliers inside what I can only describe as an enormous dome freezer. As you can imagine it was quite cold for us since we only wear lace and lycra. People kept offering us napkins, as that was the only thing they seemed to have that was remotely our size. Darla accepted one, and was covered in mustard for most of the day, and has unfortunately been trying to clean the mustard out of her everything for the past few days. I must admit we had trouble finding our suppliers as everyone was wearing the exact same red flannel shirts and brown vests. They looked like upside down Scottish people. Darla thought it would be a good idea to move towards the center in order to get a good view of all the giants. We found a nice black circular chair that said “NHL” on top, and Darla decided to stand on it to see if she could get a better view, and find our suppliers. Sadly, only moments after standing on it someone with a huge “J” shaped stick tried to swat the chair out from under her. Because she was still sticky from the earlier syrup mishap she stuck to the chair and went flying. At one point she went flying up into the air, after one of the giants smacked her chair, and she landed onto the lap of the suppliers, what luck! Well, maybe luck is not the right word, she did break her wing…again (I swear every time I turn around she breaks her wing).
After the ordeal, the suppliers took us to their shop where they claimed to have made the best magic gloves on earth! Pixie Pie I am certain you will love them! All of the giants will most definitely be pleased with these talking gloves. They were apparently made to create awkward situations and tickle the fancies of those that use them. I suggested I could do without gloves by simply taking off my pants…
Ah yes, everyone is so polite here, maybe we will stay? Just kidding, we love you (and we are also aware you can make us disappear at any point in time), so we will definitely be home, eventually.
All in all, we found some pretty cool stuff for the Toasted Pixie store. We hope this will satisfy you. Darla seems to be doing fine after the debacle but we will keep you posted. Also, if you could send us a few more looneys (that is what they call money) so that Darla can buy an NHL chair for our lantern.
Talk to you soon. We are going to find another goose if possible. They are quite nicer than ducks and have a great exterior, eh.
Your Humble Pixie Tawd P. Fairywinkle the Third
(Darla would have signed too but her hands are still too sticky)